Prayers

Last week I was struggling. I felt like I was having thoughts whispered into my ear by someone other than the Holy Spirit. Honestly, it was a huge burden on my soul. I felt weighted down. The thoughts I was thinking were things I didn't even want to say. I didn't want to give the evil one a foothold. I wanted to write someone, tell someone, do something to unload these cumbersome contemplations. Instead, I silently struggled.

The Sabbath came and with it a peace I hadn't felt in a while. Yesterday I felt the same peace. Today was when I realized that I am not feeling the attack that I was last week. The enemy's campaign against me has been thwarted. Praise the Lord, that He has fought off the enemy from entering my thoughts. Jesus has triumphed for me, again!

I myself was barely able to pray last week. I felt so unworthy to even speak to the Lord because of the things in my mind. I needed someone to pray for me. I needed someone to lift me up and carry me to Jesus in prayer. But I didn't ask anyone. I didn't talk to anyone.

However, I am positive that someone, somewhere, has been praying specifically for me. I am so thankful for that care and concern! Thank you, whoever you are, for your prayers on my behalf. Please know that I am feeling God's love and grace and protection because you have taken the time to speak to our Father in heaven on my behalf.

I thank Jesus for putting me on your heart.

Taking a Breath

A year ago we were traveling around the country visiting family. It was a fun trip, but during parts of it we experienced quite a bit of stress. I felt that our marriage was under direct spiritual attack. I was needing to take a deep breath and feel God's peace in my heart. Then, as we were traveling, God gave us amazing evidence of His love for us, and His watchcare over us. I know that I have shared these pictures in other places, but I just had to share again. God's timing is so perfect, and He knew just how to lift our hearts and gave us just what we needed. The amazing views in these photos took my breath away and overwhelming peace filled my heart. Praise the Lord!

Grand Tetons, October 2010

Jenny Lake (Grand Tetons), October 2010

Out of Babylon

I have a confession. I spent a good part of last month, and the month before, watching an old TV show. I had never heard of it when it was actually on TV, but the basic plot of the show was interesting, and so I started watching the episodes on the internet (you can watch almost any show on the internet). There came a point where I kept watching just so that I could find out how the show ended. And then it was over.


Well, after wasting all that time and mind space, I have been doing some contemplating. Yes, the basic plot of the show was good, but there were many things in that show that were not good. I'll name some of them: premarital sex, homosexuality, abortion, atheism, hedonism, pantheism, and so much more. There was a concerted effort in this show to blur the lines between right and wrong. There was a concerted effort made in the show to proclaim that there is not one way that is right. Everyone can be right at the same time. I'm okay, you're okay. Anything goes.


As I was contemplating, I kept thinking about the verse in the Bible that says, "And I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues." (Revelation 18:4)


I know there are many things in my life that need reevaluating. I don't need to fill my mind with raunchy jokes, extramarital affairs, homosexuality, murder, torture, kidnappings, spiritualism, pantheism, occultism, and all the confusion that is Babylon. God is calling me to come out of Babylon. I think I am ready. 


What about you?

On My Mind

Things on my mind
Too many to name
New nephew, floodwaters, Babylon

Things on my mind
Too much to explain
Afraid I will just babble on.

Two Years Past

Who knows what would have happened if not for the sorrow we endured two years ago.

I still think about that baby. The little lifeless form on the ultrasound. The pain and heartbreak that I felt. I never attached a name to that child. I don't know why not. I know some people do. I know that Jesus had a special name for "him" though. I always believed that baby was a boy.

Without that disappointing sorrow, we wouldn't have the joy of Haven today. I know that God is Love. I will never forget the child that might have been, but I am so thankful to God for the joy and laughter He has blessed us with through our two wonderful girls. 

Taking Hope to the zoo during that weekend two years ago.

Thoughts from Today...

I don't even know how to start this... I have so many thoughts running through my head at the moment. For one thing, I am very thankful for the Sabbath and that I can just be, and remember the One who made me. Having two children increases the amount of effort it takes to just take it easy on Sabbath.

I very rarely feel like I am a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mother. Today I did feel that way.

Honestly, sometimes I feel like we do not allow Hope to be a carefree child enough. Sometimes, I would just love to let her be, without constantly guarding and watching and cautioning and correcting. Sometimes I feel like I am just too hard on her. She is not even three years old yet.

Then, I learn that I do not discipline enough. I let Hope get away with too much. Don't ask me how I learned this, but believe me, I learned. And this was not something that I learned on my own. So now I just feel inadequate. Where is the happy medium? How do I teach my child about boundaries, kind ways of playing and what is appropriate and inappropriate? Are timeouts not enough? Is spanking too much?

I AM NOT ASKING FOR ADVICE... These are only my thoughts.

On a happier note, I also learned today that I am able to squeeze back in to my size 6 prematernity pants. Yay! I still have plenty of other things to work on besides my pant size though, including my parenting.

Oh Lord, please be my guide. Help  me to lead my children and train them well. Help me to lead them to You.