Two Years Past

Who knows what would have happened if not for the sorrow we endured two years ago.

I still think about that baby. The little lifeless form on the ultrasound. The pain and heartbreak that I felt. I never attached a name to that child. I don't know why not. I know some people do. I know that Jesus had a special name for "him" though. I always believed that baby was a boy.

Without that disappointing sorrow, we wouldn't have the joy of Haven today. I know that God is Love. I will never forget the child that might have been, but I am so thankful to God for the joy and laughter He has blessed us with through our two wonderful girls. 

Taking Hope to the zoo during that weekend two years ago.

For My Friend

Dear Friend,
I know your heart is hurting. It's been one awful thing after another, and to top it off your body has decided to take a break as well. Please know that I am praying for you. For your heart and for your back. Healing for both.

I know that it is so easy to blame God and to want distance from Him. He is more than big enough to handle the yelling, the raised fists and the blame. He's still right beside you, though. He's holding you in His arms. He's crying with you and knows all the pain that you're feeling.

I've been thinking about you today, dear friend. And I want to tell you something that Jesus said, and that I believe He is saying to you right now. He is saying, "“Come to me, you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." I believe that the pain in your back is a blessing of rest given to you from God. He knows that you need time to just be, to sit and cry, read and pray. A time to heal.

I am praying for you, dear friend. I am praying that your back will be brought back to perfect strength and health. I am praying that your heart will find healing as well. May you have Christ's peace in Your heart, and may you again know His joy. You are and will continue to be in my prayers.

Your sister in Christ,
Kelli

Come, Lord Jesus!

There is so much sadness in this world. So many things that make me long for a better place. So many friends of mine have experienced tremendous loss and anguish in such a short amount of time. Even from a distance, knowing of their grief and despair causes my stomach to knot up and my eyes to pour tears. I wish there were some way to reach out to them, but it is so hard from such a distance. I know I am not so close to them that they would get much comfort from me anyway. All I can really do is pray for them. All day long, my heart is heavy for them and my mind is drawn to thoughts of them. My thoughts turn heavenward and I take them to Jesus. I know He is the One who can comfort them best. Oh Jesus, please be near to them! Walk with them through the valley...

May we all work for the lost so that we may soon see Jesus coming in the clouds. I long for Him to come soon, but I also long for those who have not yet heard to have that opportunity. May we all be ready and help those around us to be ready as well!

Tragedy

Please excuse me for writing about something other than my children. This is really on my heart tonight...

I wonder what the average age of a person is when they experience their first completely devastating loss. In my life, I have experienced a lot of loss. I don't know what the most devastating one was. I do remember the most recent one, and that was an episodic event in my life. I was 26 years old. Other losses, that are older and have had more time to heal don't seem so terrible as the most recent one, but they were devastating at the time that they happened.

Just recently, there has been much tragedy. In the news, in the lives of my friends, everywhere around us there is immense suffering as people suffer loss of loved ones, livelihood, homes, pets, and security. It is appalling to witness.

What do we do when we are faced with tragedy? Of course, there are the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. How do we get through these stages though? I guess that depends on if we were prepared or not...

What do I mean? How do we prepare for the tragedies that come upon us unexpectedly and suddenly? Let me just say that when I suffered my latest loss, I wasn't ready for it. But I was able to trust in the love of Jesus. In my time of deepest sorrow and suffering, I knew that He was right beside me weeping. He held me in his arms. He knew EXACTLY what I was going through. My relationship with Jesus prepared me to face the tragedy that came into my life. I knew that He had been beside me up until then, and that He would be with me through it.

I pray for all that are suffering loss now: The many people who have been affected by tornadoes, floods and other natural disasters. My friends who just lost their 18 month old daughter suddenly. Another friend who was diagnosed with throat cancer at the beginning of this year. Friends whose sister-in-law has just been diagnosed with a brain tumor. So much loss. So much suffering. So much tragedy.

I pray that all those who mourn would be comforted by Jesus. "Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5