Marriage is sacred. No matter if it is a civil ceremony in a courthouse or a church wedding, the marriage that is formed is sacred. Not necessarily in the eyes and lives of those persons who enter into the union, but always in the sight of God. When a man and woman join themselves to each other, wedding or no wedding, there is a bond formed that God views as sacred and binding.
Unfortunately, since Robbie and I married almost 5 years ago, we have known several people who have married and divorced in less than that time. It breaks my heart to hear about it, or read about it, or even think about it. Why does this happen?
I know there are many reasons for divorce that make it seem justifiable:
"He had a gambling problem..."
"She was unfaithful to me..."
"He was addicted to pornography..."
"We were just too different..."
"He was abusive and wouldn't get help..."
Just a few minutes ago, before starting write this, I looked up some statistics on divorce, and here are some things I found out...
People between the ages of 20-24 are most likely to get divorced. The older a couple is, the less likely that they will divorce.
50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. Thankfully, and miraculously, a couple who are very close to me seem to have escaped this statistic (You know who you are...).
Childless couples have a higher divorce rate than those who have children.
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Our trip to San Antonio for the miscarriage of our second child.
We smiled for the camera but our hearts were breaking. |
I know that in any and every marriage, there are divorce points, places that the relationship comes to that seem insurmountable. In our four-plus years of marriage, Robbie and I have experienced our share of hurdles, although they haven't been true "divorce points". Thankfully we have faith in the Grace of God to carry us through these rough patches. I believe that it must be more difficult for a non-believing couple to survive such divorce points. And yet, in seeing the lives of a few of our Christian, God-following friends, it seems that their marriage ended as quickly or even more quickly than that of others we know and love who do not claim to follow God.
So I have many questions... and I have my opinions.
Why do God-following people get divorced? This is one of the biggest questions in my mind. Honestly, I've told Robbie that I will never divorce him. For any one of those reasons that I wrote down, I pray that with God's help, I would be able to forgive and be reconciled to Robbie, and that he would be reconciled to me if I should be the one to fall.
(Of course, I could do none of this without the Grace of God. God's grace is the power that enables a human to do things beyond their ability. I know that if faced with any of these situations, I would want to run and hide and take my girls and desire to never see my husband again. But I know God desires something better for those in situations like these. He desires to show His power in our lives. Without God, all that I have said would be impossible. But I know that with Him, if any of this should happen, all things are possible.)
I have such a burden for marriages. I believe we need to intercede for each other on behalf of our marriages! For some people, even some of those reading this, it may be too late.. but maybe it's not. I am sorry that I have not thought to pray for my married friends. Please forgive me and know that you are in my prayers now.
May God heal the hearts of those divorced.
May he reconcile those torn apart.
May He fill hearts with love for each other,
And restore the companionship of those estranged.
May the Lord grant grace to speak softly,
And seek to uphold the vows made.
May He sustain through trials and valleys of death.
May His strength help hold the other close.
May God bring to mind the first love,
When everything was sweet and new.
May He give joy-filled hearts when together.
And to each of these, God says, "I Do."
