When I Woke Up This Morning...

This morning was pretty normal. I spent a lot of time feeding Haven through the night, but woke up when Hope called at around seven. I went in to her room and curled up under her blanket while she played for a while. Then she went in to our room and read to Robbie for a little bit. I got up and fed Haven again. After Robbie fed Hope breakfast, we showered and got dressed.

When I woke up this morning, I had a list of things that I wanted to get done today, and so Hope, Haven and I set out to run errands. I don't go out alone with the two girls very often, and today I remembered why. It is very difficult. We survived all of our errand running and returned home all in one piece.

When I woke up this morning, I had lots of plans. But they didn't include one of the family dogs dying. When the girls and I returned from running our errands, Robbie's parents were in the process of taking their dog, Louise, to the veterinarian to see what could be done for her. She wasn't moving very much, but still breathing and responsive. At the vet, they drew her blood and the results showed that her liver had shut down. Her temperature was higher than 106*F. They gave her fluids and she came back home with an IV.

After we tucked Hope in bed, I went in to check on her and she was kneeling on her bed with her hands folded. I asked her what she was doing and she said, "I'm praying for her to get better." I told her that Louise is very old and that she might die tonight. I asked if she wanted to pray with me, and she prayed, "Thank you for making 'Louise' better and give her a hug."

A few hours after she returned home, Louise's breathing was agonal and she was barely responsive at all. Robbie's parents took her to a 24 hour vet but she died on the way there.

Louise was a sweet dog. She lived a long life. She was always gentle and loving. I have never had a dog of my own, but it was heartbreaking to watch Louise as she was dying. I just wanted to sit there and pet her until she died. I know that if I die of old age, I want someone there to hold my hand. I believe that all living things appreciate having someone there with them as they die. It would be more sad to die alone.

Sabbath is a Happy Day

Today was a special day in many ways. When Hope woke up this morning, I went in and snuggled with her for a little bit. She said, "I love you," and gave me a big hug. I hugged her back and said, "I love you too." Then she said, "I'm a part of your life." Of course, I agreed wholeheartedly. I don't know where she got that from.

Before we got up and started getting ready for the day, I decided to walk Hope through what was going to happen. I told her everything that would happen and what I expected of her in each setting. Then we got up, ate breakfast, took a shower, got dressed and went to church (with a slight detour on the way to help a friend who was lost). At church, Hope sat quietly beside Robbie for the whole church service.

Then, Hope, Haven and I went to Hope's Sabbath School. I don't know if Hope remembered our conversation from earlier in the morning, but she behaved herself very well, and did not attempt to hug any unsuspecting children (she loves to hug other kids, and does it without their permission. We're working on that.).

After Sabbath school, we came home, ate lunch, read some stories, and Hope took a nap. I had told her all about needing to take a nap and that after her nap we would get ready and go to her cousin, Leila's, 1st birthday party. In our conversation in the early morning, I had told her how I expected her to act at Leila's birthday party. When she woke up from her nap we got ready and went to the birthday party.

Hope behaved herself so well. I am very glad that I prepared her ahead of time for today. We stayed late to watch the end of the Rangers game, and Hope did not have any major meltdowns until the very end when the cat scared her.

It was a happy day today. It was busy, but happy. So, I go from one day where the end makes me feel like an unfit mother to the next day feeling that with the Lord's help I am teaching and training my child well. I am sorry for yesterday and grateful for today.

Now for  a little bit of bragging:

Haven will be three months old on the first of November. Already she is smiling (since she was about four weeks old), cooing (for at least a month already), rolling over from belly to back consistently, rolling over from back to belly occasionally, bearing her weight on her legs while in standing position (being held of course, she still has no balance), laughing occasionally, and holding her head steady. According to one developmental milestone chart, Haven is extremely advanced in several areas. Oh, she also brings her hands together and bats at toys. We can see in her eyes, and how she is always watching and observing, that she is a very intelligent little girl.

Okay, enough bragging. But I am very happy with our children. I praise the Lord for giving such blessings in our lives. Father, please give us wisdom to raise these girls to know and love You. Thank you, Father, for this happy Sabbath day.

Thoughts from Today...

I don't even know how to start this... I have so many thoughts running through my head at the moment. For one thing, I am very thankful for the Sabbath and that I can just be, and remember the One who made me. Having two children increases the amount of effort it takes to just take it easy on Sabbath.

I very rarely feel like I am a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mother. Today I did feel that way.

Honestly, sometimes I feel like we do not allow Hope to be a carefree child enough. Sometimes, I would just love to let her be, without constantly guarding and watching and cautioning and correcting. Sometimes I feel like I am just too hard on her. She is not even three years old yet.

Then, I learn that I do not discipline enough. I let Hope get away with too much. Don't ask me how I learned this, but believe me, I learned. And this was not something that I learned on my own. So now I just feel inadequate. Where is the happy medium? How do I teach my child about boundaries, kind ways of playing and what is appropriate and inappropriate? Are timeouts not enough? Is spanking too much?

I AM NOT ASKING FOR ADVICE... These are only my thoughts.

On a happier note, I also learned today that I am able to squeeze back in to my size 6 prematernity pants. Yay! I still have plenty of other things to work on besides my pant size though, including my parenting.

Oh Lord, please be my guide. Help  me to lead my children and train them well. Help me to lead them to You.